so that wasnt chicken after all
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
