my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
