Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
