She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
