A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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