She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
