help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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