Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
