it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
nutella sex= disaster
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
