on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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