You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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