I have demons in me.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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