It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
