Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
