The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
and you fell through a lawn chair
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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