I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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