his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
