he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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