Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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