So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
