But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
