lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
