look no pants
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
