hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
