so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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