You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i barfeds in our rink
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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