ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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