Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew

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(516): View more from New York

You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...

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(317): View more from Indiana

We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt

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(912): View more from Georgia

Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)

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(281): View more from Texas

you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka

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(575): View more from New Mexico

There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina

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