You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
