i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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