I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
