At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
