Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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