hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
