keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
