Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
