The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
