At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize