so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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