There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
