he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just want to make out with him forever
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
