If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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