And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
