What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
