At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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