# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
