grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just had sex bonerless
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Naked. naked and bneed help.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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