I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
