Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
