this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
