I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
