Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
