And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
