Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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