You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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