I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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