The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
