it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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