they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she woke up with a sticky ear
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
