My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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