Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
