Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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