i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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